The Ingies were related to the Inca, but were much less blood thirsty preferring a nice beaker of hot sweet tea to rivers of blood. Their existence had largely been forgotten until a mountain kingdom was discovered in 1897 by the British explorer Sir Arthur Edward Humphrey Walter Calthorpe-Gofton, or Eddie as he was known.
The Ingies were highly cultured and known for their exquisite use of natural dyes in the making of complex textiles. These have been found on naturally freeze dried corpses of children, scattered throughout the vast and sparsely populated mountain region. These children had been drugged and bound in decorative string before being left to die of exposure. Their bodies have since been used to discover many previously unknown facts about this forgotten civilisation namely:
They ate mouse on toast for tea- a partially digested dinner was found inside a child's corpse.
They wore very thin clothes in cold weather- hence the number of dead children found.
They liked playing games with stones- one corpse was found with big dents in the skull from a large rock which was found close to the child.
They liked weaving and crochet. The team found some lovely doilies that the beakers of hot sweet tea were put on, to prevent scorch marks on the furniture.
A pamphlet on the Ingies can be found in the foyer, along with a box for donations to buy another freezer unit to keep to corpses chilled. We are sorry about the smell of decomposing flesh and the flies.
