Tuesday, 24 February 2009


Ever wondered how captains of industry make it to the top? 

Liggin, that's how. This means to tell lies and big oneself up in order to gain entry to an interesting event or important job. Want to rule the world? Try liggin.

In reality the person is probably Joe Nobody. Those who are good at telling lies will succeed, whilst the honest perish in the wilderness of a bouncer's wagging finger and shaking head. 

The big lesson here is to walk away without looking at the nice grinning queue of nobodies.

Saturday, 14 February 2009


Looking for a way to connect with that super special someone you haven't met yet? The man you never knew you couldn't live without? The man with the super fab hair and the super fab smile, super strong arms and a heart that won't quit?
Look no further. We've got what you 've been looking for. We're Subro.
Whay are we called that? Because this is the place you can find that super bro.
It's free to join subro. You don't pay until you find your subro.
Try Subro today!

Some restrictions may apply. Subro is not responsible for lost luggage, misplaced keys, burned love letters, orthodontics, hemophelia due to subro overload. Subro does not condone the misuse of denture kits, sponges, condoms, costume props, oils, or fresheners.

Friday, 13 February 2009


Episode of an episode that is over.


Wordsess. To asses a word.

We do it all the time. We choose what words we want to use, want to hear. We chose what we like to read based on them. We wordsess.

In our everyday communications we are wordsessing. How many times has someone said something that just rubbed you the wrong way? If only they had wordsessed their words with a bit more care, then perhaps what they were trying to tell us would rub us the right way instead, and thus a decent conversation could come of it.

We assess words all the time. Now we can label this action. We wordsess. Everyday.

Tuesday, 10 February 2009


This is clearly short for something, but neither of us actually has a clue WHAT it is short for, hummmm. Something has been lost in translation- like half the word. Quite why this has been selected I have no idea, still-

It could mean many things and we will be endeavouring to find a meaning in the very near future. Until then, it's back to my expedition and plenty of nice cocktails with glace cherries and little titivations.

Saturday, 7 February 2009

skimvbol to spark democratic revolution in Zimbabwe

In the wilds of Zimbabwe, you will find a plethora of skimvbol. In fact, it is the only place on Earth they can be found. These heat and dust loving omnivores not only thrive here, but are considered a festive delicacy, and are served at weddings, coming of age extravaganzas, and funerals, just to name a few. While skimvbol are little know to the rest of the world, including neighboring countries, their existence is so prevalent, now, that the government of Zimbabwe is considering exporting them for hefty profit. This is causing an uproar amongst the smaller tribes that make up the largest part of the country.

Skimvbol have been a well kept secret of remote tribes in Zimbabwe, only recently having been recognized outside the private tribal sector, due to vast migration into larger scale cities. Skimvbol is not only considered a delicacy, but also a gift from the gods to their "chosen people". It is believed that misuse of these tiny critters can cause severe disruption of natural order and extreme punishment from the gods.

One would think that the Zimbabwean government would be sensitive to such matters. However, with the spread and excitement of democratic rule and the possibility of economic power, these skimvbol represent a fast track to the top.

Our very own JAS is in the deeps of Zimbabwe as we speak, God bless him. Cut off from the rest of the world with only sporadic reception and limited PC use. Dodging the line of fire and, with any luck, taking sides.

With Dyslecsics Dictionary, your source for World News, this is Frieda Babbley, signing off.

Wednesday, 4 February 2009


This is the word for long forgotten web links and posts that hang around in the ether, waiting to be rediscovered. They form a psychic web, not unlike those found in an attic- covered in layers of dust and decay.

These decaying fruits offer nought, they merely exist in another dimension- waiting to be discovered and enjoyed, but like wine that has turned sour or lilies that fill the air with a foul stench of death, these fruits are short lived.

Looking at these thifulfs, we are reminded of our own eventual demise- a fate we must all face.



1. more than stellar
2. beyond the stars

If your teeth are so white they ding with a blinding sparkle, you've been using Mellar toothpaste. The toothpaste for the true celebrity. The toothpaste that says, "I'm more than just a star, I'm mellar! ding"

Preferred toothpaste of The Church of Scientology.

Mellar may cause molar jaw, dyslexia, arrhythmic heart palpitation, lazy eye, constipation, diareah, ambrosia, blindness, uncontrollable orgasm, malaise, severe weight gain, claw foot, scoliosis, abdominal bleeding.

Consult your doctor if tooth failure occurs.

Stop using if you experience heartburn, sadness, elation, loose joints, sympathy, nostalgia.

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Give a Crap ~ Sponsor today

Prayer Offerings ~ Sponsor your own Skuvi Misfortunate

see post

Around the world, every second, hundreds of skuvi words are dying from malnutrition and disease. They have no hope. Their government is as malnurished and penniless as they are. Their letters are bloated as they sit in makeshift shelters, naked and listless, surrounded by dirt and flies, waiting for your sponsorship.

Here's how you can help.

Define them.

Read read read.

Pray pray pray.

Use use use.

Give a crap.

This last one is the most important and helpful thing you can do for a skuvi. If you don't give a crap, then you won't be using them, or praying for them, or reading them. This is the saddest thing that can happen to a skuvi word in desperate need.

Don't know how to give a crap? Donate. Misfortune can become a fortune. For just 10 dollars a day, you can feed, clothe, and offer medical attention to your very own skuvi. In return, we'll send you a photo of your very own sponsored skuvi word. You can define it, read it out loud, hold it while you pray. Use it throughout your day. Give a crap. We do, how about you?

JAS and Frieda are glad to accept: paypal / mastercard / visa / american express / discover card / money order / cold, hard, cash

Monday, 2 February 2009


Pronounced foxy-ffff. This is a type of very sexy hat that was the precursor to the pill box or flying saucer hats seen at weddings in the 1980's.

This sexy number sits a'top the head, like a policeman's helmet. It's terribly glamorous- a real gem in the world of millinery, and it goes so well with the lemon boucle two piece. 

It is believed the name has been shortened from the expression: yo foxy fucker.

We are proud to announce that a small range of these will be available through the site, as made by FB and J A S, both of whom have a fund of experience in all things millinery.

No wedding is complete without one! Shame about the eyebrows though..... very Lutaworm.


Vermila was once used by alchemists as part of their sacred arsenal. It was powerful stuff and its history was passed through secret channels, from Egyptian high priestesses down to the Templar Knights and beyond. Its exact origins remain a mystery as does its composition, but one thing is sure- talk of it will cause those who vibrate on a higher plane to shudder.

During the 17th Century, a tiny supply made its way to Venice where it was used in the production of glass, namely very exquisite mirrors. It was not used as the coating per se, rather it enhanced the luminosity of the reflection. In essence it drew people to the mirror and reflected back something not quite of this earth. It was both enchanting and intoxicating-

But the compound was unstable and tiny fissures, unseen by the naked eye, started to open. Sheer human emotion had caused a dynamic cascade effect and the more these mirrors were used, the more they mopped up. The maid caught admiring herself in her mistresses jewels left a tiny and permanent emotional stain. A man catching sight of himself in flagrante delicto, with a child of the street, left a highly negative charge- and so it went on.

Day. Year. Decade. Each moment was caught and mopped up by the vermila mirrors, until they began to leek a toxic charge into a room. The effects of this are slow and creeping- like the ivy that gently strangles its host. Myriad painful ailments from swollen joints through to cancer can all be traced to this source. What it has been witness to, it reflects back.

These mirrors were eventually banned, however, some still remain- undiscovered in suburbs. It has been hypothesised that this is due to the death of the grand house, with the contents being sold to all and sundry- thus further destabilising the vermila.

Should you vibrate on a higher plane, resist the urge to look into one of these death traps at all cost.

Sunday, 1 February 2009

P O U S T.

This is a post-operative pout, formerly a limp lip that has been given a boost with either an implant or an injectable filler. The latter has been extracted from cadavers, though the manufacturers don't necessarily sell it like this in their promotional material.

Did you not know that? Many of these 'natural' fillers are derived from the dead. In the future the dead will be treasured for their ability to keep the younger generation looking tip-top.

When the oil apocalypse arrives and all the earth's black treasure has been sucked dry, we will be making candles from liquefied human fats, which will fill the house with a pungent aroma and black clouds of human soot. We will be glad of the dim glow, before going to bed at 7pm in the winter blackness.

A consequence of this will be the loss of such a charming word. Enjoy it will you can- and the benefits of the product, just like Jackie Stallone.