Wednesday, 4 February 2009


1. more than stellar
2. beyond the stars

If your teeth are so white they ding with a blinding sparkle, you've been using Mellar toothpaste. The toothpaste for the true celebrity. The toothpaste that says, "I'm more than just a star, I'm mellar! ding"

Preferred toothpaste of The Church of Scientology.

Mellar may cause molar jaw, dyslexia, arrhythmic heart palpitation, lazy eye, constipation, diareah, ambrosia, blindness, uncontrollable orgasm, malaise, severe weight gain, claw foot, scoliosis, abdominal bleeding.

Consult your doctor if tooth failure occurs.

Stop using if you experience heartburn, sadness, elation, loose joints, sympathy, nostalgia.


  1. My screen had a black mark on it- right on the front tooth!

    Where can I get some? And a brochure for the Scientology church- though the Moonies are more me.

    Were you taught to be afraid of the Moonies as a child- in case they snatched you?

    I will be using this word in everyday speak- it's great. 'More than stellar. Wonderful.

  2. Thankfully no. We didn't acknowledge their existance. In fact I have only briefly heard of them here and there. I did come across this wonderful article though. Correlating George Bush with the Moonies, aparantly he was given a parachute by them as a gift. Check it out here:

    Hysterical about the black mark! That must have made quite an "impression" bah dahm ching.

    I believe you can get the brochure you are looking for from any of the top actors or actresses. Tom Cruise, for example.

    So glad you'll be offering mellar in your everyday speach. Hope it catches on. We've been using shemut and schmaza, among others. =O

  3. yes- I use Schmaza quite a lot.

    Bloody Scientology- what a lot od bollocks