Friday, 9 January 2009

Use, Don't Abuse, Your Snappy Shoes

Gretchen Barnbrig of Panchua wrote in with a distressed note. In it, she writes of the word snappy, as in, "Those are some snappy shoes you're wearing," or, "Make it snappy, I don't have all day!" Yes, snappy was her security word two days ago. "I was confused and disoriented," she writes. "If snappy is a real dictionary word, then why is it showing up as my security verifier?"
Rightfuly so, to be distressed, Gretchen. JAS and I have researched this problem, and yes, it is a serious one. Let us explain. Security Verifiers often get misplaced, or rather replaced, by words less commonly used by the general public. They both get booted out of their own homes which are then torn down to build countless condos and appartments of the exact same word to meet public demand and rising populations of miscreants.
Unfortunately, countless dictionary words get discarded and overlooked every day. Layman vocabulary (and vocabulary of other classes quite frankly)leaves much to be desired in the world of variety. You will find that like common variety garden plants that get snatched up for good measure every day, so do common variety words. And, hey, why not. Insert a good "fuck" or a piece of "shit" into any sentence and you've got it made, right? Orgasmed and relieved yourself at the same time!
Wrong and No!
What you are really saying when you're continuously limiting your vocabulary, purposefully or otherwise is:
  • It makes me look normal
  • I am uneducated
  • I am uncouth
  • I don't care enough about you to "use my words"
  • I am worried about what you will think of me if I try to be myself
  • I don't care enough about my language to learn to speak it properly
  • I am not attractive or sexy in any way shape or form
  • I think I'm cool but I'm really not
  • I don't know what I am saying
  • I have nothing to say
  • I can't express myself
  • I don't respect you or myself enough to use my thoughtful and creative words
  • I love to wash my mouth out with used soap

The list goes on and on. I believe you get our point.

If this doesn't make sense to you, look at it this way, it's like crying wolf. Say fuck or shit, for example, enough times and you are likely to get overlooked when you're really in a bind. "What's the matter with him," someone will ask when your arm has been severed or you're getting mugged. "Oh, he's just talking," someone else will say. Is that what you truly want? If so, by all means, have at it your way. But do take a good think about this.

So what are your alternatives? Well, stub your toe? Why not give a colorful visual. What is it you are seeing in your minds eye? Why not try, "MOUNTAINS OF MARIGOLDS!" Or, "STINKY BUTTONS!" At any rate, it's more likely to get you proper attention, and, in the end, a more satisfying relief from your pain.
You see, hormones released when you find humor in something not only minimizes pain, it also keeps you healthy and trim. Can't go out for a good jog? Why not get in a good laugh instead. Sure you can get good results with a good fuck. And a good shit can skim of the poundage. But a good, heartfelt laugh you can do anytime, any day, anywhere, with anyone, no protection required (unless of course it's at someone else's expense; but that is another post entirely).
JAS and I urge you to vary your words. Relish them. Let them know they have a purpose. Let them in on your emotions, your thoughts, your senses. Without them, you would be nothing. They are there for the taking. They are all wanting to be used. Take advantage of that last thought, as not many people I know are as impatient to be used, and neither will they stick by your side through thick and thin as any decent word will. There should be no reason why a good and true dictionary word should need to seek shelter and sponsorship in Dyslecsics' Dictionary.
That's all for now. See ya later alligator, In a while crocodile, Adios, Alvedezaine, Au Revoir, Chow, Toodles, Peace be with you, Aloha, Adeo, and keep it real.


  1. Am saving this for the morning- looks like a long and interesting treat. Typo- your/ you're. Hope this is gone by morning!

    I was going to read your draft- as soon as someone says DON'T LOOK AT THE DRAFT I..........

  2. Ah, that's what I was missing. Couldn't find it when I went back to fix. Thanks.

    Oh, and don't tell me about the 'girls' or anything else you really want to tell me. And don't... because I might have to...
    So of course now you will, damnital.

  3. Shall I use a colourul visual to explain 'the girls?' I have altered that in my post- changed to 'students,' rather than 'girls.' It's just a Prime of Miss Jean Brodie thing. My 'girls' stand out from the crowd.

  4. How did you know I am uneducated?

  5. Anyway, I like to limit my vocabulary- it makes me look normal

  6. Hah! that was going to be one of my list topics!!!!!!! "it makes me look normal"

    I did notice you changed it to students yesterday, actually, after you put in the photo on that post. Clever to draw my attention to that. You're very sneaky, if I may say so.

    Do you know I was in the play "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie"? It's one of my favorite's. I was the nun, it was my story. Image me, a nun. I didn't have red hair, so I couldn't be Jean.

    I thought it was odd that you would have had girls and been married to a Susan. Though I must say it made for a good story.

    Um, are you saying you don't like my piece, JAS?

    We are all uneducated in one way or another, now, aren't we. But I don't think you are. And neither am I. Remember that, perhaps?

  7. I just hope we are not too clever for our readers- oh, WE are the readers.

    Now searching for a security word.....

  8. We Are Fine Entertainers, arent's we?