Use, Don't Abuse, Your Snappy Shoes

Gretchen Barnbrig of Panchua wrote in with a distressed note. In it, she writes of the word snappy, as in, "Those are some snappy shoes you're wearing," or, "Make it snappy, I don't have all day!" Yes, snappy was her security word two days ago. "I was confused and disoriented," she writes. "If snappy is a real dictionary word, then why is it showing up as my security verifier?"

Rightfuly so, to be distressed, Gretchen. JAS and I have researched this problem, and yes, it is a serious one. Let us explain. Security Verifiers often get misplaced, or rather replaced, by words less commonly used by the general public. They both get booted out of their own homes which are then torn down to build countless condos and appartments of the exact same word to meet public demand and rising populations of miscreants.

Unfortunately, countless dictionary words get discarded and overlooked every day. Layman vocabulary (and vocabulary of other classes quite frankly)leaves much to be desired in the world of variety. You will find that like common variety garden plants that get snatched up for good measure every day, so do common variety words. And, hey, why not. Insert a good "fuck" or a piece of "shit" into any sentence and you've got it made, right? Orgasmed and relieved yourself at the same time!

Wrong and No!

What you are really saying when you're continuously limiting your vocabulary, purposefully or otherwise is:

• It makes me look normal
• I am uneducated
• I am uncouth
• I don't care enough about you to "use my words"
• I am worried about what you will think of me if I try to be myself
• I don't care enough about my language to learn to speak it properly
• I am not attractive or sexy in any way shape or form
• I think I'm cool but I'm really not
• I don't know what I am saying
• I have nothing to say
• I can't express myself
• I don't respect you or myself enough to use my thoughtful and creative words
• I love to wash my mouth out with used soap

The list goes on and on. I believe you get our point.

If this doesn't make sense to you, look at it this way, it's like crying wolf. Say fuck or shit, for example, enough times and you are likely to get overlooked when you're really in a bind. "What's the matter with him," someone will ask when your arm has been severed or you're getting mugged. "Oh, he's just talking," someone else will say. Is that what you truly want? If so, by all means, have at it your way. But do take a good think about this.

So what are your alternatives? Well, stub your toe? Why not give a colorful visual. What is it you are seeing in your minds eye? Why not try, "MOUNTAINS OF MARIGOLDS!" Or, "STINKY BUTTONS!" At any rate, it's more likely to get you proper attention, and, in the end, a more satisfying relief from your pain.

You see, hormones released when you find humor in something not only minimizes pain, it also keeps you healthy and trim. Can't go out for a good jog? Why not get in a good laugh instead. Sure you can get good results with a good fuck. And a good shit can skim of the poundage. But a good, heartfelt laugh you can do anytime, any day, anywhere, with anyone, no protection required (unless of course it's at someone else's expense; but that is another post entirely).

JAS and I urge you to vary your words. Relish them. Let them know they have a purpose. Let them in on your emotions, your thoughts, your senses. Without them, you would be nothing. They are there for the taking. They are all wanting to be used. Take advantage of that last thought, as not many people I know are as impatient to be used, and neither will they stick by your side through thick and thin as any decent word will. There should be no reason why a good and true dictionary word should need to seek shelter and sponsorship in Dyslecsics' Dictionary.

That's all for now. See ya later alligator, In a while crocodile, Adios, Alvedezaine, Au Revoir, Chow, Toodles, Peace be with you, Aloha, Adeo, and keep it real.

Love,

Frieda