SYCOTESS.

SYCOTESS is a neurological condition popularised by a 'Famous Director' in his 1957 classic. The main story features a lovely young couple- currently unmarried and therefore, because of the film classification act, unable to live together or even embrace in a natural manner- no body contact, no pocket rockets, no fun at all really.

However there are some lovely contemporary fashions of the day- wasp waists, shantung frocks and some lemon clam diggers- seen when she is running for her life through the forest. Needless to say they are as clean at the end as they were when we first see her pegging out the washing.

Anyway, the woman realises she is trapped in an unreal world of make-believe, but is unable to convey this fact to any of the main or supernumerary players, who all believe she is going crazy. She is locked up and undergoes a transition with some hair dye and a false beard before all is revealed.

After much debate, neither Freida nor I feel able to spoil your enjoyment of this film, by delivering the outcome. Our advice is to sit down with a nice beaker of tea, a box of chocolates and a few tissues- will you need them when the lobotomy takes place: my God, the blood fucking squirts everywhere.

-You will be pleased to learn that all's well that ends well. Our heroine was able to do manual, housework type chores without much supervision. Her main skill now centres on the ability to colour match her pegs when hanging out washing- thus bringing harmony back to the close knit community. She is now normal, apart from the large scar, drooping eye and inability to wipe drool from her mouth.

Sadly, our hero- who is ALWAYS  a male in such films was shot in the head within 15 minutes of the opening sequence. This leaves the audience in a dilemma: to stay or go? What could be the point of staying, if it's only a little lady left to sort out the mess left by the scriptwriter. This might explain why the film bombed at the time and remained largely forgotten, until recently.